Dear drivers behind me on the north side and downtown Chicago,

Please don’t rear-end me at the traffic light. You see, I live on the south side of town and the lights are timed differently in my neighborhood.

Trust me – I’ve noticed the difference but I’m programmed to stop when the light is amber (yellow for those who haven’t had it described to them by an officer of the law). And don’t expect me to rely on the countdown next to it either. The pedestrian light is synchronized differently than yours.

On my side of town, the number one signals RED. You need to be stopping on two, stopped on one. On yours, numero uno is YELLOW. And it stays yellow FOREVER. We see yellow on the two, sometimes three – and we hit the brakes. Why? Because we’re tired of receiving $100 tickets in the mail stating you ran a red light…wanna see? And we stupidly go to the website and watch ourselves caught in the intersection on the suddenly red light. Or we clearly see our license plate as we turn right on red without coming to a complete standstill for whatever length of time deemed appropriate.

My fellow Chicagoans, there is no need for you to rudely blow your horn, call me nasty names (no, I’m not a $&@# idiot), or flip me the bird. I’m as surprised as you are that I’m sitting at a yellow light. The three, sometimes four cars angrily flying past me as the light remains amber/yellow amazes me. I’m honestly tempted to hit the gas pedal and progress through because surely the bloody thing is broken!

But alas, I have been conditioned by these mean and biased streets. I’m not only stopping, I’m staying. Why? Because enough people have shared with me that they never received the first ticket either. That first ticket has the tendency to get lost (insert side-eye here), on it’s way to the mailbox. However, that second one – the one that has doubled and is now $200 and doesn’t care that you never received the first one, always seems to arrive at the correct destination.

So fam, I’m stopping. I can’t afford not to stop. Between the bogus parking situation, the illegal cameras strategically positioned throughout the community that seldom catch a real crime being committed, and the boot mobile faithfully cruising the blocks – I need you to understand. Not stopping is not an option.

And don’t think I haven’t noticed the absence of red light cameras in certain communities. It’s true – you know it, I know it, everybody knows it and I get it. You have no idea why I stopped on the yellow. In your experience, at least three cars can pass through the intersection before the light turns red. And even if a car zips through as it’s turning red, there’s no blinding flashes of lights temporarily disorienting everyone in the vicinity. You northsiders aren’t about that life.

You have bike lanes on main streets that are safe for bikers. Hell, your pedestrian walkways have their own zip codes and police detail. I don’t expect for you to understand, really I don’t. I’m not hating or complaining either y’all. I’m simply requesting a little compassion while trying to raise your level of awareness. Oh yeah, and avoid having your front end all in my trunk. There’s always that.

Love,
Robin ❤️