The older I get, the more challenging my birthday becomes.

It started when my oldest sister, Sharilyn, died. Suddenly. Like a week before my birthday. I was in such disbelief and denial that I had my parents believing it was a lie. She was buried a day before my 37th birthday. And no, it doesn’t make it better that it wasn’t on my actual birthday – I still remember. But thanks for asking.

So, there’s that pressure of “what are you doing for your birthday?” every year (not complaining), when it’s a struggle to try to be “normal” on my birthday. And I’m so grateful for each day I’m alive, really I am, it’s just…hard to talk about it. It’s taken me 20 years to even speak about it to my other older sister, Bonnie, and there’s no one closer to me. So now that I mentioned it to her, today, I thought I’d tell you.

But that’s not all.

Father’s Day is today and I miss mine. He’s been gone 17 years now and I guess I’m grateful that it didn’t fall on my birthday again this year. This year it’s the trifecta of sorts – Dad’s day today, Sharilyn’s burial day tomorrow, and tada!, my birthday the next day. Please believe me, I’m not complaining about having a birthday. I’m über grateful to be alive another year! Truly I am. I have so much to be thankful for and still so much work to do. It’s just a reflective time.

I should have told y’all a long time ago, but I was trying to be “normal”. That’s not working for me. Honestly, normal never has worked for me. What saying is, if I don’t meet your celebratory expectations this year (or any year here after), don’t take it personally.

I’m not sad, grieving, depressed, weird, boring, or at a loss for something to do. Don’t feel sorry for me and don’t look surprised if you see me out having the time of my life. I’m still a Gemini. And lord, don’t get your feelings hurt if I’m unavailable. It’s not personal, it’s self-care.

I’m thinking 20 years from now, I’ll be so excited to be 77, I’ll throw a party for them and me. Maybe.

Meanwhile, keep calm. It’s #GeminiSeason. Still.

Oh yes. About the sex. Aren’t you the nosy one? Made you look! #GeminiBehavior

Love,
Robin ❤️