Month: February 2017

Are You Ready For The Judgement?

Posted on 3 Comments

A long-time friend of mine shared concerns regarding a medical diagnosis they’d recently received. It wasn’t good so I offered some encouragement, followed by a scripture. Much to my surprise, they responded with, “thanks, wasn’t sure you were a believer.” Judgment day came sooner than I expected. 

I wasn’t upset by it. At this stage in life, I allow grown people to own their stuff. Their beliefs, fears, phobias, and judgements – they have nothing to do with me, or anyone else actually. They speak from their own level of experience and understanding. I kept my ego at bay and I didn’t take it personally. I just wasn’t ready for it.

However, I did respond with the truth of – first time I ever heard that. It made me rethink the relationship. How well does this ‘friend’ know me? Perhaps their frame of reference is grounded in the me they knew 30 years ago who didn’t believe in too much that I couldn’t see. Maybe it reflected their level of faith. I don’t know, I tried not to judge.

It helps to know who you are, what you believe and how you’re living. It’s really great when you have written and living testament to refer to that supports and documents your lifestyle. Otherwise, you might fall prey to a loose or fiery dart. Me, I simply observe them – and if they aren’t relevant and require no attention, let them pass by like a cloud in the sky.

But the judgement surprised me. Now I know there’s no special day for it. No specific trumped up ceremony or horn blowing- judgements are made all the time. I was grateful for the opportunity to remember to check myself before I made one (or made any more). The Bible says, “judge not, or you too will be judged” ~ Matthew 7:1. Who wants to invite all that in their life? Not I.

I’m more of a Luke 6 girl (not be confused with Luke cage), “forgive and you shall be forgiven.” Or better yet, I ride with my all time favorites the Corinthians – “But with me it is a very small thing that I should be judged by you or by any human court. In fact, I do not even judge myself.” They say, paraphrased ala Tupac, “only God can judge me!”

Truth be told, (and you know what the Corinthians say about that, “Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth”), in my Colonel Jessup voice, I’d rather you say thank-you, and went on your way. But hey – who am I…to judge?

Namaste.

Just Robin ❤️

Surrender to Vulnerability

Posted on Tagged , , , , Leave a comment

Surrender – to give oneself up.

Vulnerable – capable or susceptible to being hurt or wounded.

“What makes you vulnerable, makes you beautiful.” Brené Brown

This week in meditation, we talked about surrender. Initially, I didn’t have anything to contribute because of my control tendencies – I couldn’t surrender control of my need to control, to share. But it wasn’t control as much as it was the resistance to surrendering to vulnerability.

As the talking stick made it’s way around the circle, I listened and I continued to breathe. I admired the courage of the women who shared their stories. I learned from them; I saw myself in a few. I was in a safe space. I was safe. I could allow myself to be vulnerable, release and surrender. So why didn’t I?

Sometimes, even in supposed sacred and safe spaces, it is difficult to allow myself to open up. Even in sanctuary I guard myself from the feelings associated with vulnerability.  Who needs it? This was meditation. My safe space. A place for reflection; a quiet place. Why is this even necessary? Given the definitions of surrender and vulnerable, why would any sane person combine the two?

Brené Brown (the queen of vulnerability), gives one explanation of the resistance to it saying, “Our rejection of vulnerability often stems from our associating it with dark emotions like fear, shame, grief, sadness, and disappointment—emotions that we don’t want to discuss, even when they profoundly affect the way we live, love, work, and even lead.” I can absolutely relate.

img_8534

That’s what’s tricky about meditation. Once you become still, all of your ‘stuff’ tends to come up – I believe that’s one reason many people avoid it. We avoid intentional stillness and quiet. We surround ourselves with busy-ness.When you’re dealing with other stuff, you don’t have time to face your own. That’s typically when the internal breakdown or the external meltdown occurs – when your body breaks down. Your body can’t process the toxic behavior, sickness and disease set in because you haven’t released. You haven’t surrendered.

In stillness, in meditation, you can lovingly process your ‘stuff’. You’re encouraged to be kind to yourself and observe your feelings surrounding the issue(s) and ‘let it go’ – surrender. Breathe. In his book Change your thoughts – Change your life; Living the Wisdom of The Tao, Dr. Wayne Dyer suggests, “…the primary purpose of learning to meditate, or to be in the silence, [is] inviting your essence to reveal itself…”. You have the opportunity to confront your authentic self in meditation.

You may become emotional during stillness, and that’s okay. It’s cleansing. It’s necessary for release. Simply observe the feeling attached to the thought, the emotion, the ‘stuff’ – no judgement – and love yourself through it. And breathe. Breathe deeply.

It seems this theme of surrender, of vulnerability, of opening up is following me this entire week. In two different yoga classes the intention focused on exactly that. The teachers guided us to flow through several heart opening poses from sun salutation b with an extreme backbend, to eagle – opening even the back of the heart, to various modifications of warrior one, camel, dancer, wheel, wild thing – poses that expose your heart while strengthening your ability to balance. All with the expressed intention of opening and exposing our hearts. Designed with the intention of allowing us to experience vulnerability in a safe space. I surrendered.

img_8535

I’ve been on a mission to surrender; to allow myself to be vulnerable. Even though it seems I’m opening myself up to be hurt or harmed – from reading Brené Brown’s book, Daring Greatly, I know that there’s much to be gained. According to Brown, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” Those are emotions and qualities I welcome. I’m willing to take the risk.

Rather than resisting vulnerability; I’m learning to embrace it. I’m recognizing when I begin to ‘wall’ up and close inward – I see it because I begin missing my joy or I feel afraid or left out. I realize the answer lies within and meditation, seeking my true authentic self (joyful, brace, accepted), helps.

That night in meditation I was afraid to share that I’d allowed myself to be vulnerable for fear of appearing weak; weakness is also associated with vulnerability. Because I’m on this path of growth, this quest for knowledge of self through God’s eyes, this journey to enlightenment – I was able to open up and allow myself to share with the circle safely and fearlessly. It was scary but it was empowering.

In the words of the queen – Brené Brown, “If we want greater clarity in our purpose or deeper and more meaningful spiritual lives, vulnerability is the path.” Hopefully I’ll meet you on it.

Love,

Robin ❤

Why Valentine’s Day?

Posted on 1 Comment

Flowers, candy, wine and champagne are staged in almost every aisle of the grocery store. Hearts adorn display windows in the mall. Sales representatives at Tiffany’s are putting in the hours – Jared’s and Pandora too. The parking lots of the adult toy stores are full and the not-so-secret lingerie shop is overrun with…men.

It’s the weekend before Valentine’s Day and the stores are filled with pink and red EVERYTHING.

The pressure is on for all husbands, boyfriends, significant others, and boo thangs to prove their love by shelling out the bucks in honor of Saint Valentine. Who, by the way, may be a fictitious character invented by poet Chaucer around 1375. Other accounts claim he was beheaded for illegally marrying couples in Rome during the third century. Really?

This “holiday” is also associated with a cute little Cupid holding a bow and drawing an arrow – ready to pierce unsuspecting hearts with love. Cupid is the Greek god of affection, love and romance and oddly enough, has nothing to do with Saint Valentine.

The valentine pressure is so great, An unnamed card company (the king of capitalizing on insecurities, sorrow and personal failure), has created a special holiday for singles. Singles Awareness Day whose acronym ironically spells S.A.D. Exactly.

That’s right, if you didn’t feel bad enough already, you can be honored for being too sorry to have a valentine. That’s worse than Charlie Brown being extra excited to receive that used Valentine’s Day card. On February 14th, single you and the other perceived relationship rejects can get together and commiserate – I mean commemorate your singlehood over cocktails and a movie. How thoughtful.

A “holiday” centered around a mysterious saint and a naked weapon toting cherub is sending a large majority of otherwise reasonable people into a pink and red, heart-shaped, sugary, flowery frenzy.

Which, from my observation, has nothing to do with love.

Or does it?

I’ve been taught that love always gives based on the scripture found in John 3:16 – ” For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.” Now, that’s love. I have three sons and I’m not giving up nary a one for any of you. Believe that!

In her book All About Love: New Vision, bell hooks said, “The word “love” is most often defined as a noun, yet all the more astute theorists of love acknowledge that we would all love better if we used it as a verb.”

I believe we should agree love is an action word. When we use the phrase ‘I love you’, we have a noun (I), a verb (love), and a pronoun (you) which is the direct object of the verb (love). Isn’t that what Valentine’s Day is all about?

So maybe – just maybe, husbands, boyfriends, significant others, boo thangs AND singles are all onto something. Giving gifts and spending time with each other on this one day designated for demonstrating love is actually showing love!

Making the effort to give your loved one something because you think it will make them happy (and keep you from sleeping on the sofa), is a genuine show of affection. And that’s what we all want isn’t it? Love?

Can we take it one tiny step further. Can we demonstrate love for each other in all of our relationships on a regular basis (is daily too much to ask?)? Perhaps there won’t be so much pressure and SADness on this one day if we show more KINDness towards each other every day.

I personally like Valentine’s Day and I’m single (and not the least bit SAD). The day I took down my Christmas wreath, I immediately replaced it with a heart wreath. So I’m not hating AT ALL. We need all the love we can get in this sometimes wicked world. I’m simply suggesting we show love and kindness a little more often. To couples and singles alike.

It has nothing to do with me feeling uncomfortable watching your man fumbling over the unmentionables in Victoria’s Secret and asking me for advice. About your underwear.

Happy Valentine’s Day!
Love,
Robin ❤

Love Conquers All

Posted on 5 Comments

When the noise of the world becomes so loud that you can’t hear the voice of your heart, be still.

When confusion drowns out sensibility and order, be still.
When chaos emerges all around you and you don’t know what you think or what to think, be still.
When it’s time to choose between what’s right and what they say is right and you don’t know what to do, be still.
Be still and wait for that peace which passes all understanding to come to you. It always will.
These past weeks have been difficult for us all. There has been so much hate, anger, violence, confusion, murder, anguish, grief, hurt, pain, just…mayhem.
It’s important to own your feelings, feel your emotions, and not try to suppress them. There’s no need to ‘be strong’ or ‘hold it together’. That causes illness, stress, migraines, and ill will. So if you have to shout, scream, rant, journal, post, or seek wise counsel – do so. Express yourself! Process your emotions. It’s best to process them responsibly and seek to forgive, so bitterness doesn’t take root in your heart.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean you accept the behavior or you’re okay with what occurred. Forgiveness is for you; for your well-being.
Whether you forgive or not, the other person is largely unaffected. I’ve heard unforgiveness is like you drinking poison expecting the other person to die. It eats you up on the inside.
Believe me, those offenders will reap what they sow. It’s the law of the universe – you don’t have to worry about it AT ALL!
Meanwhile, you do the things that bring you joy and peace. Surround yourself with love. Hug someone, take a nature walk, sit by a body of water, and breathe. Pray, meditate, chant, write, draw, paint, sing, dance – create. Do whatever you can to redirect the energy.
And yes, love. Love yourself and love those dear to you. Make sure they know you love them. It may be just what THEY need to bring their joy back.
I’m so grateful for you. We can get through this…together.
Love,
Robin ❤️

Terra Goddess (aka Gaia)

Posted on Leave a comment

Urban Gardening

The idea first came to me as a science project for my then 12 year old son. A life skill we could learn together before he slipped away to manhood. Before we clipped the apron strings.

After discussing the best use of our space as well as the healthiest way to grow food; we went organic and chose the above ground method. We read the Square Foot Gardening book by Mel Bartholomew and got started.
I can’t tell you how many naysayers I encountered when I started talking about it. I live in the city. For real. I don’t have a huge backyard and I was working full-time. Well, we fooled them!
The first year we learned a lot. Things like cucumbers ‘run’. Meaning they take up a lot of space because they’re on a vine that grows and grows and grows. We had to get creative with them and their cousin the zucchini.
My son and I had a lot of laughs, fought off the insects, the scary tomato worms, and a lot of other things we’d never seen or heard of.
We discovered that there are a lot of hungry squirrels in our neighborhood. And can I say that the squirrels are downright rude? They half eat our tomatoes and leave the remnants on the table for me to clean up. We found out that they don’t care for them, they only want the juice. Ugh! That’s okay, We made cages out of chicken wire to cover the boxes and the tomatoes.
The cages are removable and keep the birds, squirrels and rabbits at bay. Except that time a squirrel risked his life to get the watermelon. Broke my heart. Next year we built a better cage.
The first year we planted cabbage, kale, green leaf and romaine lettuce, strawberries, sugar peas, green beans, collard and mustard greens, eggplant, cucumbers, zucchini, summer squash, two types of tomatoes, green and purple bell peppers, jalapeño and banana peppers, basil, rosemary, Lavender, mint, cilantro, and thyme. The herbs and hot peppers were mainly in our window box or pots.
Our dog Coco Chanel did her part scaring off the squirrels and watching us work. We were very pleased that first year and my son ate more vegetables than ever.
That was four summers ago. I’ve lost and added since then. The first thing I lost was my partner. He’s a teen now and gardening is not his thing. It’s okay with me though, he still does the heavy lifting and if I need help, he helps. Meanwhile, gardening has become a mode of meditation for me so it’s just as well. I get sun (tanned and Vitamin D), therapy from communing with Mother Earth, and I have a few awesome playlists for the crops.
Over the years I’ve added corn, sweet potatoes, okra, onions, white tomatoes, turnip greens, Swiss chard, carrots, habanero and ghost peppers, stevia, lemon verbena, and oregano. I tried bok choy but it didn’t flourish – I’ll try it again.
I’m in the planning phase for this year, I know it’s early but I really want to get it right. If I can just get the lettuce, tomatoes and cucumbers to mature simultaneously I’ll be a happy salad eater. It’s a lot of work and it keeps you busy. It’s so worth it though. Nothing is more rewarding than feeding my family and friends from my backyard. Fresh produce is the perfect gift!
I hope you’ll stay tuned for this years gardening journey. Maybe you’ll be inspired and join me. Perhaps you’ll share your gardening tips…I’m definitely no expert.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Come on! It’ll be fun!
Robin

The Power of Life and Death

Posted on 2 Comments

You’ve probably heard the Proverb (18:21) “the power of life and death is in the tongue”. I say it’s absolutely true. You can proclaim life or speak death into any situation. You can literally have what you say. 

I have a lot to say about the power of the tongue or words but I want to focus on two words today – I AM.
These are two very powerful words. They are action words. Activation words. Words of creation. Whatever word or words you say after I AM, you are. You speak it into existence. So choose wisely. Speak intentionally.  
If you’re not feeling 100% – rather than reinforce your sickness, say I am healing. I am strong. My energy is coming back. Speak life, health, joy, wealth, love, into your life with intention.
Observe how often you casually say things like, I’m tired or I’m broke or I’m sick and tired. Pay attention to what you’re adding to your I AM. No judgement, be gentle with yourself, just notice.
When you realize that what you’re saying isn’t helping improve your situation (remember – you can have what you say), choose to change your language and your outcome. If you mis-speak, correct it immediately.
If you slip up and say something you don’t want to see – for instance, you have a cold and automatically say I’m sick. You can easily correct it by adding – but I’m getting better as we speak! 
Before you know it, this way of thinking and speaking will become the norm for you. Be kind to yourself, this way might be new to you. Don’t beat yourself up if you slip up occasionally. Now that you know you’re in control of your situation, you will speak the best possible outcome. It’s a mindset and I often say, “change your mind, change your life.”
Joel Osteen wrote a book about it – The Power of I Am, you might want to read it. If you feel you need more high energy or high vibrating words in your vocabulary, check out the book, Every Word Has Power by Yvonne Oswald, she has lists of them for you. 
I like visuals – vision boards, affirmations – I like to be reminded of what I’m saying and where I’m going. I have index cards of my I AM affirmations around my bathroom mirror. So first thing in the morning, while I’m brushing my teeth, arranging my hair, putting on earrings, I’m going through them repeatedly in my head. 
I made decks for my grandchildren too. I want them to grow up knowing the power of their I AM. Knowledge is one of the best gifts I can give them. 
Do whatever you do to help you remember things so you gain/ regain control of your tongue and consequently your destiny. The power is in your I AM.
Next time we’ll talk about the proverbial “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me.” That’s not necessarily true.
Until then…
I AM grateful for you.
Love,
Robin ❤

The Year of the Rooster

Posted on 2 Comments
How appropriate is it that 2017 is The Chinese Year of the Rooster as we are definitely having a wake-up call this year. Whether you are for or against the current administration, I’m certain you’ve had a surprise or two since January 20th.
This is definitely the time for all of us to “wake up”.
Many of us have become desensitized or have our heads stuck in the sand and aren’t aware of what’s going on in our own communities. Some of us are aware and seemingly involved but have been caught sleeping on the job. Others of us only know what’s going on in the world through Facebook memes or 140 character tweets.
Either way, this is definitely the time for us to “wake up”.
Now is the time to read, listen, organize. Hold your local government officials accountable. Exercise your vote wisely. Make sure your concerns are represented from your alderman on up. Don’t get angry or discouraged, get involved.
Now is the time to share your gift with the world. Your voice, your artwork, your dance, your song, your poetry, your brilliance, your book, your ideas…your kindness. Your love.
Now is the time to show love for humanity. To strengthen your community by supporting local businesses, networking with your neighbors, and genuinely caring for one another. Building, strengthening and growing.
My youngest son learned a chant in the Youth Basketball Association (YBA) when he was four years old. “If its to be, it’s up to me.” It’s a call to personal responsibility and accountability. It’s what we need today to motivate us to wake up and take charge of our lives, our community, our future. There is no them versus us – there’s us.
We are the ones we’re waiting for. The rooster is crowing.
Wake up! Wake up! Wake up!
Love,
Robin ❤
“I refuse to accept the view that mankind is so tragically bound to the starless midnight of racism and war that the bright daybreak of peace and brotherhood can never become a reality… I believe that unarmed truth and unconditional love will have the final word.”
Martin Luther King, Jr.